They are Playing Her Song

My oldest daughter will be seven in two days! OMG! I can't believe it. She is such an amazing child. She is smart, gorgeous and full of life. What I love most about her is that she dances to her own tune. She seems to not care about what anybody thinks or says (even me to a degree). Every song is her song...she dances to everything and for everyone. She's blossomed from my little caterpillar to a lovely butterfly.

I think about everything that has passed the last seven years and how much and how far she's accomplished and come that I am nervous for the next seven. Seven more years she will be a teenager picking out the car she wants to drive when she turns sixteen...

In the next seven years she will be oogling over boys, fighting with her sister, arguing with her dad and I about make up and she will be successful in school, not because I want her to do all those, but because she wants to.

Over the next seven years, I will watch her learn how to use those wings that she's developed, I will watch her, someday, fly away.

Is what I hope for her above everything else is that she remains to dance to her own tune, making every song her song.

Thoughts of a (bad) mom:

The other day I 'snuck' my child into daycare. What? Yes, snuck my child into daycare. She had a fever and I knew it, but I brought her to daycare anyways (the moms out there are going to hate me because I am one of "those" moms). I had no other choice. There was really nothing wrong with her, except a fever and a slight, clear runny nose. Nothing to complain about...nothing that kept her awake at night. I thought I could get away with it.

The hubs is on a weird schedule because of extremely high workflow and they already gave him one day off, and I had taken two days off that week already. Now, if it was a job that I had completely secure, it really wouldn't be a big deal, but I am a fill-in for a teacher who had left in the middle of the year, and I am looking for a job next year. So, I really feel like I need to kiss some booty to secure a position.

Was it wrong? Yes. Am I sorry? No. I am not sorry because there are other moms that have done and would do the same thing in my predicament (how many kids do you see at the daycare will slimy green runny noses)? How many times do you walk into that daycare hoping that your child decides not to play with another child for that day? I am sure many times.

So, my week looked like this:

Monday-off, Tuesday--off, Wednesday--on, Thursday--on, Friday--off.

Wednesday my husband had off and so he watched my child. Thursday was the day that I snuck her to daycare (it worked until the last hour or so and they called me). Since I was worried about this fever that has lasted a week, I took her into the Urgent Care--they couldn't figure it out. So today is Friday at 5:00 pm exactly and my child is sleeping on the couch with a fever. She has slept a total of 6 hours today...

The question is: Will she sleep tonight?

Temporarily I am a bad mom. Will I do this again? Possibly, and I will call myself a bad mom again, but I will not be sorry for it because we all are bad moms at least once in our parenthood.

Please do your part:

Sweetie, Please accomplish the following:

1)Move old desk to basement.

2)Hang flat screen TV in Girls' room using the new TV mount.

3)Bring dumpster find TV to basement.

4)Move bunk bed to small wall.

5) Make headboard for our bed.

6)Work on Laundry

My To Do List:

1)Move old desk to basement. (the damn thing is too heavy for it to be on my list)

2)Hang flat screen TV in Girls' room using the new TV mount. (Tried this, but all the anchors fell through the wall...maybe I did it wrong?)

3)Bring dumpster find TV to basement. (Tried this, dropped the TV...oops, too heavy).

4)Move bunk bed to small wall. (Check)

5) Make headboard for our bed. (still not done...humm...do you think he might be more inclined to babysit so I can go do this?)

6)Work on Laundry (check)

Dear Husband,

When I do the things that are on your list, I screw them up. I put them on your list so that way you can do them right...the first time. The things I put on your list need your big, strong, buff arms to accomplish them...or...they end up broken in the middle of the apartment building with kids staring at me, thinking, "Why didn't you just have your husband do it?" I ask you for a reason. Not so you can forget it. Not so I can end up doing it myself. But because I need you to do these things for me, my loving, strong, husband.

Love,

Your Wife.