Missing

Lately, I've lost many things. I've lost my house/car keys, which turned out to be in the trunk part of my van; I've lost pens, my ID, money, a child, but most importantly, I've lost my sweet, precious mind!

I have no clue where it went! I used to be this creative, artsy person that would spend hours writing, singing, scrapbooking, or sketching...now...I spend hours wiping butts, cleaning the kitchen, washing tables, clothes and other miscellaneous things.

So, I guess, the question is--How do I find me? Where do I begin to look? I am everything that I want to be-a teacher, a mom, a wife...but somehow, I've lost the heart of who I truly am. Where did it go? Is it lost among the paperwork and crumbs of last night's dinner? Is it strewn about over last year's date night? Was it forgotten on the beach in Florida, which is, where I remember the last place I was creative at?

Where is 'me'?

So, I guess it's now time to send out the milk carton ad of a missing girl. One that was once blonde (at least took the time to be blonde), one that adored getting nails/toes done, one that would write poetry, sing songs to her husband over dinner, dance with her children in the middle of the grocery store, one that didn't care about society--but rather appreciated it for what it was worth, the one who collected songs, made up her own, recorded her music on silly tape players, one that had dreams of writing a book, publishing her book and entering poetry contests, and the one that would keep "private" journals with her 'boyfriend' about all the things they could once do, but never did and frankly, probably never will. I am looking for the the one that swore that she wouldn't change who she was at heart to become what she dreamed to be...(and has become and has changed).

....so...if you find this creative, once full of life, bubbly girl--please send her my way. Maybe I can catch her and put her back where she belongs. I truly miss that girl. I do.

I think that my husband misses her too.

At home.

When we first came to Japan, I wasn't feelin' the love of our squadron. Our sponsor didn't show us around, we didn't even hear from our sponsor, it felt...lonely.

Well, I owe my husband's squadron the biggest thank you in the world!

I was put into urgent care Saturday night with a 103.9 fever, I was scared, the daughters were scared...so, I asked the doctor if he could call my husband's squadron and find somebody--anybody to take the girls for the night because I wasn't sure how long I was going to be there. I had four people show up to the urgent care! I had one person take the girls (which was awesome of her). One person stayed the whole time and brought me home.

When I came home, I noticed that my house was clean. The woman who took the girls had cleaned the whole entire kitchen and living room for me (it was in shambles just as I was). I cannot thank her enough...and I don't know how to thank her.

She kept the girls for as long as I needed her to. Sunday, I received so many phone calls asking if I was ok, Monday was the same way. I couldn't believe the support that I received from this squadron.

I guess it goes to show that when we are far away from home, everybody does step up and really, truly makes you feel at home.

Little Ones VS Typical People

I miss the life. The life of being human. Yes, technically, I am human...but not human as you, a typical person, would describe human. The ones that would decide to categorize me as human or robot are little ones. Little ones with creative minds that see the world through their video games and fantasy books. Little ones that eat candy, don't mind gum in their hair and love holes in their jeans. Little ones that write on their clothes to fit in and ask questions just to hear themselves talk. I miss being human as described by a "typical person" not by these little ones.

These little ones think, that me, because I am the teacher, live at school. As soon as the bell rings, I push a magical button and this house is magically built around me because apparently I never leave. The reason I say this is because when I am seen outside of the classroom...it's "Oh, MRS....OH...WOW! HI! MOM, IT's MRS...!" and the mom usually glares my direction OR shakes my hand and introduces herself. Lately, it's been the glare. LOL! (:

I miss being human because when I was human I was able to take the trash out in my sock monkey pajama shorts and an old high school t-shirt. Now, if I take the trash out in that kind of outfit (which I did tonight and it prompted this blog) I get a look like, "And you're teaching my kid...?" Yes! I am teaching your kid! Yes, I need to be comfortable too! Yes, I didn't plan on this, but this is the way that it worked out...soo...temporarily shove it until you can meet up with one of your gossip buddies to discuss my latest escapade... Right? *Rolls eyes and sighs*

As I think about it...I don't think I would mind being categorized as a "robot" or "whatever else" they may call me. In fact, I may stick with those descriptions, because, those little ones will not care if I take the trash out in my sock monkey jamma shorts-in fact, they will think it's cool (and probably ask where I bought them), they will think that singing the "Geometry Song" is awesome and not nerdy, AND, they think it's cool when they get gifts--even if it's a corny eraser.

I like these little ones and frankly, I can't wait until next year. It's the "typical people" that I am actually nervous and worried about....

World Traveler?

Back and forth to the states is not a world traveler? Oh...please tell my husband that! I want to go to Italy, Spain, Rome, France, Bahamas, HongKong, Tibet, Hiroshima, Pearl Harbor, The Great Wall...but, he seems to think that a vacation isn't supposed to be spent traveling by plane, but rather enjoying the area that you are in...HELLO! How do you expect to get there?

I wanna go, but he won't lemme go...gee, I really wanna travel...